Nodame Cantilbile

It's pointless to envy other people's world. I have to change my world by myself.

Thor: The Dark World

Thor: I wish I could trust you.
Loki: Trust my rage.

Thor: If you betray me, I will kill you.
Sif: If you betray him, I will kill you.
Volstagg: If you betray him...
Loki: You'll kill me? Evidently there will be a line.

Thor: Mother wouldn't want us to fight.
Loki: Well she would hardly be surprised.

Loki: Why don't you let me fly it?
Thor: Out of the two of us, who here can actually fly?

Thor: We are just like the humans. We are born, we live, we die.
Loki: Give or take 5,000 years.

Loki: You still don't trust me?
Thor: Would you?
Loki: No I wouldn't.

Loki: Satisfaction is not in my nature.
Thor: Surrender is not in mine.

Loki: Well Thor, Don't you look ravishing.
Thor: It will hurt no less when I kill you.

Loki: Now they're firing at us!
Thor: Yes, thank you for the commentary, Loki. It isn't at all distracting.

Loki: Oh, dear. Is she dead?
Jane Foster: I'm fine.

Malekith: Death will to come to you soon enough.

Loki: Well done. You just decapitated your grandfather.

Loki: I think you missed a column.
Thor: Shut up!

Frigga: Loki.
Loki: Hello, mother. Have I made you proud.
Frigga: Please, don't make this worse.
Loki: Define worse.

Odin: All this because Loki desires a throne.
Loki: It's my birthright!
Odin: Your birthright was to die...as a child! Cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in you would not be here now to hate me.
Loki: If I had fully asked for true mercy, I'd say just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just...I don't love them.

Thor: Merriment can sometimes be a heavier burden than battle.

Thor: I see nothing.
Heimdall: Or perhaps that is not the beauty you seek.

Loki: Odin continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful.
Frigga: The books I sent, do they not interest you?
Loki: Is that how I'm to wile away eternity, reading?
Frigga: I've done everything in my power to make you comfortable, Loki.
Loki: Have you? Does Odin share your concern? Does Thor? It must be so inconvenient them asking after me day and night.
Frigga: You know full well that your actions have brought you here.
Loki: My actions. I was merely giving truth to the lie that I've been fed my entire life, that I was born to be a king.
Frigga: A king? A true king admits his faults. What of the lives you took on Earth?
Loki: A mere handful compared to the numbers Odin has taken himself.
Frigga: Your father...
Loki: He's not my father!
Frigga: Then am I not your mother?
Loki: You're not.
Frigga: Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.

Once Upon A Time

Mary Margaret: What do you think stories are for? These stories are classics. There's a reason we all know them. They're a way for us to deal with our world. A world that doesn't always make sense.

Valet: Power is seductive. But so is love. You can have that again.

Emma: Kid, you need to go home. Where's your mom? She's going to kill me, and then you, and then me again.

Rumplestiltskin: Every story needs a memorable detail.

Regina: In order for something to grow, Miss Swan, it needs roots, and you don't have any. People don't change. They only fool themselves into believing they can.

Emma: It never is. People are going to tell you who you are your whole life, but you've just got to punch back and say, "No, this is who I am." If you want people to look at you differently, make them. If you want to change things you are going to have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

Archie: Why do you think it's so important that your... your fairy tale theory is true?

Henry: I don't know.

Archie: Give it a shot.

Henry: 'Cause... this can't be all there is.

Henry: Good loses. Good always loses, because good has to play fair. Evil doesn't. She is evil.

Mr. Gold: Two people with a common goal can do many things. Two people with a common enemy can do even more.

Regina: We all lose our heroes at some point.

Zoso: My life was such a burden. You'll see: magic always comes with a price, now it's yours to pay.

Rumplestiltskin: Why me? Why me?

Zoso: I know how to recognize a desperate soul.

Snow White: I need a cure.

Rumplestiltskin: What ails you, child?

Snow White: A broken heart.

Rumplestiltskin: Ah. The most painful of afflictions.

Snow White: So if I drink that I'll no longer love him?

Rumplestiltskin: The next time you see the object of your grief, you won't even remember who he is.

Snow White: I won't remember him?

Rumplestiltskin: Love is the most powerful magic. The cure must be extreme.

Snow White: Extreme sounds like an understatement.

Rumplestiltskin: Don't doubt yourself now, deary. Love makes us sick. Haunts our dreams. Destroys our days. Love has killed more than any disease.

Evil Queen: Yes, it's from my childhood garden. The tree and I share something in common: neither of us can leave the palace and neither of us truly belongs. No matter how hard I try to please the king, he will never love me as he loved his first wife. I am trapped by the memory of the life they used to share.

Belle: Why did you want me here?

Rumplestiltskin: The place was filthy.

Belle: I think you were lonely. Any man would be lonely.

Rumplestiltskin: I'm not a man.

Rumplestiltskin: You had a life, Belle, before this; friends, family. What made you choose to come here with me?

Belle: Heroism. Sacrifice. You know, there aren't a lot of opportunities for women in this land, to show what they can do; to see the world, to be heroes. So when you arrived, that was my chance. I always wanted to be brave. I figured, do the brave thing and bravery would follow.

Rumplestiltskin: And is it everything you hoped?

Belle: Well, I did want to see the world. That part didn't really work out, but I did save my village.

Rumplestiltskin: And what about your betrothed?

Belle: It was an arranged marriage. Honestly, I never really cared that much for Gaston. To me, love is layered. Love is a mystery to be uncovered. I could never truly give my heart to someone as superficial as he. But you were going to tell me about your son.

Rumplestiltskin: I'll tell you what. I'll make you a deal: go to town and fetch me some straw. When you return, I'll share my tale.

Belle: Town? You trust me to come back?

Rumplestiltskin: Oh, no. I expect I'll never see you again.

Rumpelstiltskin: I knew this was a trick. I knew you could never care for me. Oh, yeah! You’re working for her. Or is this all you? Is this you being the hero and killing the beast?

Belle: It was working-

Rumpelstiltskin: Shut up!

Belle: This means it’s true love!

Rumpelstiltskin: Shut the hell up!

Belle: Why won’t you believe me?

Rumpelstiltskin: Because no one – no one – could ever, ever love me!

Belle: You were freeing yourself! You could have had happiness if you could just believe that someone would want you, but you couldn't take the chance.

Rumplestiltskin: That's a lie.

Belle: You're a coward, Rumplestiltskin, and no matter how thick you make your skin, that doesn't change.

Rumplestiltskin: I'm not a coward, dearie. It's quite simple, really: my power means more to me than you.

Belle: No. No, it doesn't. You just don't think I can love you. Now you've made your choice, and you're going to regret it forever. All you'll have is an empty heart and a chipped cup.

Belle: It's the most wonderful and amazing thing in the world. Love is hope; it fuels our dreams, and if you're in it, you need to enjoy it because love doesn't always last forever.

Leroy: Isn't that what life's about? Holding on to your good memories? 

Rumplestiltskin: Well of course it changed her. It took away her love; left a big hole in her heart. There is no cure for what she's got. The person she was? There's no way to bring her back. No potion can bring back true love. Love is the most powerful magic of all. The only magic I haven't been able to bottle. If you can bottle love, you can do anything.

Prince Charming: She could never become that evil.

Rumplestiltskin: Evil isn't born, dearie, it's made. If Snow starts down that road you'll never get her back.

Jefferson: You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants some magical solution for their problem and everyone refuses to believe in magic.

Jefferson: A real world. How arrogant are you to think yours is the only one? There are infinite more. You have to open your mind. They touch one another, pressing up in a long line of lands, each just as real as the last. All have theier own rules; some have magic, some don't, and some need magic.

Regina: The intent is perfectly clear!

Mr. Gold: Oh, let's not talk about intent. Intent is meaningless.

Emma: Okay, one of us is losing it here and it's not me.

Mr. Gold: We're in the land without magic, Belle, and I'm bringing it back. Magic is coming.

Belle: Why?

Mr. Gold: Why? Because magic is power.

Mulan: That thing out there is dangerous. And Philip... he left to protect you. So even if I don't believe in his methods, I'm going to honor his wishes. I'm going to keep you safe.

Aurora: I never asked him to.

Mulan: You never had to. Everything he does, he does for you. And now he's going to die for you. Love is sacrifice, something you clearly don't understand.

Henry: How long am I in prison? Until I grow up?

Regina: Henry, I rescued you because I love you.

Henry: So I'm a prisoner because you love me. That's not fair.

David: Listen to me. Listen! If you cross that line you're going to be lost. Everyone who loves you will lose you, but there's something worse: you'll lose yourself. Look, I get wanting to leave here. I do. And I get that it's easier to let go of bad memories, but even bad memories are part of us. David, Storybrooke David, was -- is -- weak, confused, and he hurt the woman I love. I wouldn't give up being Charming just to be him, but you know what, I wouldn't make the other trade either, because that David reminds me not only of whom I lost but of who I want to be. My weaknesses and my strengths, David and the prince. I am both. Just like you. You are both. The town is both. We are both. Stay here and every choice is open to you. Live in the woods if you want. Hell, live in a shoe if you want. Or eat frozen burritos and write software. Let's open Granny's and the school and then get back to work. I will protect you. She won't be able to hurt any of us, not as long as I'm alive. Not as long as we all come together as we did before! As we shall do again!

Regina: Really. I shouldn't have brought you here. I was -- I don't know how to love very well. I wasn't capable of it for a very long time, but I know, I remember that if you hold on to someone too hard that doesn't make them love you. I'm sorry I lied to you, that I made you feel like I didn't know who you are, but I want you to be here because you want to be here. Not because I forced you and not because of magic. I want to redeem myself. 

Mulan: (opens weapons chest) Choose wisely. We must be vigilant if we hope to survive the journey.

Emma: Where's my gun? I want it back.

Mulan: Is it magic?

Emma: That depends on who's pulling the trigger.

Mulan: Follow my lead, step where I step, do exactly as I say and you might survive.

Emma: Thanks for the pep-talk, but I think we're okay. I just killed a dragon last week.

Mulan: Have you ever seen an ogre?

Emma: I'm pretty sure I've dated a few.

Emma: I was angry at you for so long. Wondering how you could choose to let me grow up without you. After seeing all this, you gave up everything for me, and you're still doing that. I'm sorry, I'm not good at this. I guess I just -- I'm not used to someone putting me first.

Killian Jones: Where are my manners? We haven't been formally introduced: Killian Jones. Now, what are you doing aboard my ship?

Rumplestiltskin: You have my wife.

Killian Jones: Well, I've had many a man's wife.

Rumplestiltskin: No, we have a son, and he needs his mother.

Killian Jones: I have a ship full of men who need companionship.

Rumplestiltskin: I'm begging you. Please let her go.

Killian Jones: I'm not one for bartering. That said, I do consider myself an honorable man; a man with a code. So, if you do want your wife back all you have to do is take her. [throws sword on the ground] Never been in a duel before, I take it? It's quite simple really. The point goes in the other guy. Go on, pick it up. A man willing to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.

Rumplestiltskin: Please, sir. What am I going to tell my boy?

Killian Jones: Try the truth: his father's a coward.

The Evil Queen: I want true happiness.

Rumplestiltskin: Then find it elsewhere, dearie! Magic can do much, but not that. Dead is dead.

The Evil Queen: Then I am lost.

Rumplestiltskin: And I've had my time wasted. I'm sorry, but, uh, transcending death is beyond even my reach.

Daniel: Stop... just stop the pain.

Regina: How?

Daniel: Just... let me go.

Regina: No. No, I won't lose you again. Without you, I'm lost. Daniel, come back to me.

Daniel: Can't. Can't.

Regina: But I love you.

Daniel: Then love again.

Neal: I might be a pervert, but you're definitely a car thief.

Emma: How long do you think that magic knockout powder lasts?

Hook: I don't have a clue.

Emma: That's my rush.

Emma: Your mom - she's a piece of work, you know?

Regina: Indeed I do.

Mr. Gold: Congratulations, you just reunited mother and son. Maybe one day they'll even invite you to dinner.

Mary Margaret: The trip home was tiring and I needed rest.

David: And I needed to help her rest.

Emma: I'm... gonna go... make some tacos. (ushers Henry out of the room)

David: It's impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic childhood memories at this stage in the game.

Cora: My daughter's lost everything now.

Hook: Well aren't you "Mom of the Year".

Emma: You hurt Belle.

Hook: I hurt his heart. Belle's just where he keeps it.

Emma: Keep smiling buddy. You're chained down. He's on his feet, immortal, has magic and you hurt his girl. If I were to pick dead guy of the year, I'd pick you.

Emma: In a normal town, the Sheriff goes in and asks a few questions. She doesn't bring her parents in with her.

David: That's probably true.

Emma: Gold, are you insane?!

Mr. Gold: Yes I am.

Leroy: So you got a twin brother? Whose name is James? But your name is James!

David: Actually, it's not.

Leroy: Charming then?

Mary Margaret: No, that's a nickname I gave him.

Leroy: So what the hell is your name?

David: David!

Leroy: Your cursed name?

David: My real name!

Leroy: What, you're David, James and Charming? David's like, a middle name?

David: No, it's my name name!

Leroy: You know what? I'll call you whatever I damn well please!

Emma: (Presses buzzer) UPS package for 407.

(Clamoring footsteps down fire escape)

Henry: Maybe you should have said FedEx.

Henry: Why are you so nervous? When I found my mom, I was excited.

Mr. Gold: Because I have the benefit of a little more... life experience. I know that things don't always happen the way we want them to.

Henry: Sure, but in my book it says that you can see the future, why can't you just look and see what's going to happen.

Mr. Gold: Well, that ability is complicated. I didn't always have it. And then when I did, well … it's maybe not the "gift" one would expect. Seeing the inevitable can be a terrible price.

Henry: But you wouldn't have to worry about stuff. You'd just know.

Mr. Gold: [smiles sardonically] But that's the Great Trap. The Future … is like a puzzle — with missing pieces — difficult to read, and never, NEVER, what you think.

The Seer: I've been expecting you.

Rumplestiltskin: Then you know exactly why I came here.

The Seer: What I fortold during the Ogres War has finally come to pass.

Rumplestiltskin: Well in a matter of speaking. I uh hobbled myself on the battlefield, was branded a coward. My wife ran away and left me. Then my son was called to the front. Oh, then I became the Dark One. Then Bae left me. So yes, my actions on the battlefield left my son fatherless, but would have been nice to know all the pesky detail!

Rumplestiltskin (as the Seer transfers her powers to him): I can't … see … anything — it's too much! It's nothing but a jumble!

The Seer: The Future is a puzzle, with many pieces to be sorted. In Time you will learn to separate what can be from what will be.

Rumplestiltskin: This is why you wanted to give me your power — to free yourself from this torment!

The Seer: In Time you will work it all out. (Rumplestiltskin starts to leave) Wait. As gratitude I offer you one piece of the puzzle. You will be reunited with your son, and it will come in a most unexpected way.

Rumplestiltskin: How?

The Seer: A boy — a young boy will lead you to him. But beware, Rumplestiltskin, for that boy is more than he appears. He will lead you to what you seek, but there will be a price. The boy will be your undoing.

Rumplestiltskin: Then I'll just have to kill him.

Emma: I can't cast a spell. I can spell a "spell."

Mr. Gold: You can. It's in you.

Emma: Well, how? Here? Like from my brain?

Mr. Gold: Just try. [Emma starts to concentrate her thoughts] Stop thinking! Conjuring magic is not an intellectual endeavor — its emotion. You must ask yourself: "WHY am I doing this? WHO am I protecting?" FEEL it. (Emma has a visionary experience, and a spell of protection is cast) Oh, yeah, you feel it.

Emma: I think I did.

Cora (placing her hand on his chest): If the choice is love or power, even having a heart is a liability, don't you think?

Belle (on phone): Mr. Gold... I told you before... I don't remember you.

Mr. Gold: I know, I know. It's just … sweetheart, I'm … I'm dying.

Belle: Oh — I'm … I'm so sorry.

Mr. Gold: I know that your confused about who you are. Now I'm going to tell you. … You are a hero who helped her people. You are a beautiful woman who loved an ugly man. Really, really loved me. You find goodness in others, and when its not there you create it. You make me want to go back — back to the best version of me. And that never happened before. … So when you look in the mirror, and you don't know who you are, that's who you are. Thank you.

Mary Margaret: How do you do it?

Mr. Gold: Do what?

Mary Margaret: Live with yourself, knowing all the bad things you've done.

Mr. Gold: Well, you tell yourself you did the right thing, And if you say it often enough, one day you might actually believe it.

Emma: I mean what are you going to tell her when she sees a giant or a werewolf run past her down Main Street? Between Greg Mendell or food obsessed tourists — and now your fiancee — this town is turning into a theme-park!

Neal: Maybe I didn't think it all the way through, I'm sorry, I need her. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to…

Emma: No need to apologize to me — I'm not the one you're lying to.

Neal: Whose lying?

Emma: Does she know who you really are and where your really from? Take my advice — don't let her find out on her own. Tell her the truth. Tell her everything.

Mr. Gold: Not a coincidence. Fate. And apparently, fate has a sense of humor.

The Evil Queen: They will. When she is gone, when Snow is dead, then they will see my kindness.

Rumplestiltskin: Yes, through the charred remains of their homes. I'm sure that will be perfectly clear.

Belle: The future isn't always what it seems. I will see you again.

Hook: The irony. ... I've spent more time than I care to remember tyring to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin, here I am sailing right back into its heart with him as my guest of honour. It's not quite the happy ending I was hoping for.

Emma: How can you two be so infuriatingly optimistic?

Rumplestiltskin: Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild, and, sadly, your doesn't.

Hook: I've never known you to get ready for a fight, I thought it was a natural state.

Mulan: Your belief in love wasn't strong enough to overcome your fear of rejection.

Neal: I've spent my entire life running from magic, and now it's the only thing that can help me.

Peter Pan: It is so much easier to get people to hate something than believe.

Rumpelstiltskin: You know what to do, hide it where no one can find it, not even me.

Regina: You know I could have just poofed us up here in an instant.

Emma: If wax moustaches and perms are your thing...
Hook: I take it by your tone, perms are bad.

Mirror: Careful! If you drop me, I'll make sure you have fourteen years bad luck.

Peter: You will only be able to read that map when you stop denying who you really are.

Hook: Breaking Pan's rules would be unwise.
Charming: Sadly, I agree with the pirate.
Hook: I'm winning you over, I can feel it.

Snow: I'm no queen, I'm no leader, I'm just a girl who lost her parents, ran away into the woods and became a bandit.

Rumpelstiltskin: Belief must come from within.

Hook: I'd wager the solution to Pan's riddle is a bit more complicated than that.

Snow: You were an orphan, it's my job to change that.

Rumpelstiltskin: How nauseatingly romantic.

Rumpelstiltskin: You're right about one thing dearie, everything comes with a cost, including wasting my time.

Emma: is rum your solution to everything?

Henry: I don't like apples.
Peter Pan: Who doesn't like apples?
Henry: It's a family thing.

Neal: I don't need a horse, I need a portal.

Robin Hood: Merry men come in all sizes.

Regina: I told you walking was idiotic.

Hook: I fear such an attempt would end in your death, and, more importantly, mine.

Charming: No, pixie dust. It's stronger, like nuclear fairy dust.

Robin Hood: So, at best, my toddler is bait, at worst something goes wrong and a demonic shadow carries him through a portal to the nastiest person you've ever met.

Emma: What did you do, kill her brother? Steal her halo?

Regina: Fly away, moth. Don't let the doors catch your wings on the way out.

Tinker Bell: Was being happy such a terrible fate?

Peter Pan: You remind me of your father.

The Evil Queen has trapped the residents from the land of fairytales in our world, with no memory of their former lives, living normal day to day lives. Emma, Snow White's daughter, has arrived, and is destined to set things right.

Emma: I can't be a mother.

Greg Mendell: You're a long way from Storybrooke.

Greg Mendell: We don't ask questions, we just believe in our cause.

Hook: The irony. ... I've spent more time than I care to remember tyring to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin, here I am sailing right back into its heart with him as my guest of honour. It's not quite the happy ending I was hoping for.

Emma: How can you two be so infuriatingly optimistic?

Hook: Oh, that's a great use of our time, a wardrobe change.

Emma: I'll do whatever it takes.

Rumplestiltskin: Neverland is a place where imagination runs wild, and, sadly, your doesn't.

Hook: I've never known you to get ready for a fight, I thought it was a natural state.

Prince Philip: Were you hit by some kind of arrow?
Neal: 45-calibre arrow.

Charming: I will not be capsized by a fish!

Neal: They made a movie about you; it's actually pretty good.
Mulan: What's a movie?

Tamara: Can you forgive me?
Rumplestiltskin: No!

Mulan: Your belief in love wasn't strong enough to overcome your fear of rejection.

Regina: That's more like it, Charming, fillet the bitch.

Regina: And what, you'll win her over with your rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers?

Neal: I've spent my entire life running from magic, and now it's the only thing that can help me.

Peter Pan: It is so much easier to get people to hate something than believe.

Peter Pan: Let's play!

Rumplstiltskin: You know what to do, hide it where no one can find it, not even me.

Regina: You know I could have just poofed us up here in an instant.

Snow: You can call me 'mom' if you want.

Emma: If wax moustaches and perms are your thing...
Hook: I take it by your tone, perms are bad.

Regina: So this nature hike was for nothing.

Emma: I just hope we're not too late.

Mirror: Careful! If you drop me, I'll make sure you have fourteen years bad luck.

Snow: She's terrorized us for far too long!

Regina: Are you really going to marry that?

Regina: You may have been a princess, but you will never be a queen.

Peter: You've got fire. I like fire.

Peter: I may not be the most well-behaved boy on the island, but I always keep my promises.

Peter: You will only be able to read that map when you stop denying who you really are.

Hook: This whole island's his bloody trap.

Hook: Breaking Pan's rules would be unwise.
Charming: Sadly, I agree with the pirate.
Hook: I'm winning you over, I can feel it.

Snow: I'm no queen, I'm no leader, I'm just a girl who lost her parents, ran away into the woods and became a bandit.

Grumpy: Look handsome, she may love you, but that chiseled chin ain't fooling us. We got our eyes on you.

Rumpelstiltskin: Belief must come from within.

Hook: I'd wager the solution to Pan's riddle is a bit more complicated than that.

Rumpelstiltskin: I'm a coward, I'm just like my father.

Belle: Letting go of the past is the first step.

Hook: Careful, he may look like a boy, but he's a bloody demon.

Charming: Privacy's a hard thing to come by when you have seven big brothers keeping an eye one you.

Charming: Excalibur!

Peter: Cheaters never win.

Snow: This is my kingdom, and I will fight for it.

Snow: You were an orphan, it's my job to change that.

Rumpelstiltskin: How nauseatingly romantic.

Rumpelstiltskin: You're right about one thing dearie, everything comes with a cost, including wasting my time.

Emma: is rum your solution to everything?

Emma: If Pan's camp keeps moving, how are we going to find Henry?

Henry: I don't like apples.
Peter Pan: Who doesn't like apples?
Henry: It's a family thing.

Neal: I don't need a horse, I need a portal.

Robin Hood: Merry men come in all sizes.

Regina: I told you walking was idiotic.

Hook: I fear such an attempt would end in your death, and, more importantly, mine.

Charming: No, pixie dust. It's stronger, like nuclear fairy dust.

Rumpelstiltskin: Roast swan, that's amusing. You'll get that later.

Rumpelstiltskin: What you don't realize is... you are the feast.

Rumpelstiltskin: You can no more fly from your fate than can that swan.

Regina: My happy ending looks like Snow's head on a plate.

Robin Hood: So, at best, my toddler is bait, at worst something goes wrong and a demonic shadow carries him through a portal to the nastiest person you've ever met.

Emma: What did you do, kill her brother? Steal her halo?

Regina: You're a terrible fairy.

Regina: Fly away, moth. Don't let the doors catch your wings on the way out.

Tinker Bell: Was being happy such a terrible fate?

Peter Pan: You remind me of your father.

Roland: I believe.

Tinker Bell: You didn't just ruin your life, you ruined his.

Felix: You may have grown up Baelfire, but it would appear you have grown up stupid.

Rumpelstiltskin: I don't know what I would do if I lost you.

Belle: A lifetime of craven self-interest is a nasty habit that you've never been able to break.

Peter: Beneath all that power, you're nothing more than an unloved lonely lost boy.

Peter: Where's your sense of adventure?

Regina: Yes, because preteen Baelfire probably made lots of pasta.

Peter: New name, but the same old tricks.

Peter: Do you know the best thing about being a Lost Boy? You never appologize.

Hook: You need a hand, love?
Emma: Was that a joke?

Regina: So, what, you want to send him a message? Because I haven't seen a Neverland post office.

Hook: There were two of you? I can barely stomach one.

Regina: Move aside.
Snow: Why?
Regina: So I can rip his heart out.

Peter: All magic comes with a price, and that spring is of no exception.

Regina: What I wouldn't give for another sleeping curse.

Ariel: You may want to try diving in calmer waters next time.

Regina: You are such a pathetic waste of ability.
Emma: And you're a monster.

Snow: Secrets always seem to keep us from the people we really care about.
Charming: And sometimes secrets protect the people we love.

Snow: Your secret's safe with me.

Peter: It's impossible to see the future in a place where time stands still.
Rumpelstiltskin: I may not see the future here, but I can make one up.

Regina: Fine, you want to follow the evil munchkin's dirt road, be my guest.

Snow: What's this?
Ariel: Mini trident. Salad trident?

Regina: Next time you let someone fall to their death, make sure they're actually dead.

Regina: You're not going to die by anyone's hands but my own.

Regina: There's my malevolent imp.

Regina: Look at the catch of the day.

Hook: Don't kill the messenger, love.

Snow: I want to have another baby.

Neal: You know that's not how this works.

Neal: I'm never going to stop fighting for you. Never.

Regina: Time to swim back home little mermaid.

Grumpy: Can we panic now?

Ariel: He's really into being cryptic, isn't he?

Snow: It's good to see you've inherited his tunnel vision.

Neal: You came to Neverland on a pirate ship through a portal, and you draw the line at a magic coconut?

Emma: Why couldn't it be called something like sunshine valley or rainbow cove?

Ariel: He's a prince, the kind with legs.

Belle: Pandora's Box. Legend says it contains the world's darkest evil.
Ariel: Shouldn't you be wearing gloves or something?

Snow: I would happily build a tree house and spend the rest of my days dodging poison arrows and Lost Boys as long as I had you by my side.

Neal: Welcome to the 21st century.

Peter: Tonight, the dream of Neverland will awaken from its slumber.

Regina: Well, if this is your version of a rescue party, we got here just in time.

Spinster: Family can be a strength, but it can also be a burden.

Rumpelstiltskin: I'm not walkin' in there with nothing but my good looks.
Hook: Now, I on the other hand...
Charming: Here, in case your good looks fail you.

Malcolm: Neverland is where the impossible is possible, if you believe it.

Rumplestiltskin: I've carried enough lies in my life to recognize their burden.

Peter: Any rule can be broken, especially here.

Henry: Heroes have to make sacrifices all the time.

Regina: Well, it looks like getting rid of a baby just made my to-do list.

Rumpelstiltskin: I'm exactly where I want to be.

Emma: How did that feel?
Peter: Like a tickle.

Archie: There's more to life than work.

Regina: I need a child, Gold, and I need your help.
Rumpelstiltskin: I'm flattered, but uninterested.
Regina: Not like that!

Regina: All I have is Henry, and I'm not about to lose him because he is everything.

Snow: I may be trapped on this island for the rest of eternity, so if you think that I'm not going to be spending my last moments with my daughter, you're crazy.

Regina: I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population, I've tortured and murdered, I've done some terrible things... I should be overflowing with regret, but I'm not, because it got me my son.

Archie: Regina, if you keep worrying about the future, you'll never enjoy the present.

Emma: Then let's get the hell out of Neverland.

Rumpelstiltskin: As a reminder of the man I was and shall no longer be.

Charming: Between breaking the sleeping curse, taking back the kingdom, and seven dwarfs breathing down our necks, it's not like we've had a lot of time on our own.

Charming: I fell in love with you on a troll bridge after you robbed me and hit me over the head with a rock. I knew what I was getting myself in to.

Charming: There's more to life than just looking for the next fight.

Emma: And you think that having lunch with Neal would be a good moment?
Charming: I don't know, does he eat with his mouth open?

Charming: You think I'm interested in Hook? Emma, I'm a married man.

Snow: How could I bring something good into a world where there is always something bad out there?

Henry: When we find Pan, remember, he's still in my body, so if you have to throw a fireball, or something, at least avoid the face.

Emma: My magic has a price. The price of being the Saviour is that I don't get a day off.

Charming: Life is full of twists and turns you never see coming.

Tinker Bell: Aren't you a little old to be a Lost Boy?

Hook: I'd risk my life for two things – love and revenge.

Hook: Look who's still a fairy.
Tinker Bell: Look who's still a pirate.

Mary: And do you know what I saw when I looked inside? Hope.
Henry: Looks like fairy tales to me.
Mary: And what exactly do you think fairy tales are? They are a reminder that our lives will get better if we just hold onto hope. Your happy ending may not be what you expect, but that is what will make it so special.

Peter: Because without magic you are right back to where you started – the village coward.

Rumpelstiltskin: My ending shall not be a happy one.

Rumpelstiltskin: Ah, but I'm a villain, and villains don't get happy endings.

Hook: Can you stop it or should we all start preparing our souls? 'Cause mine's gonna take some time.

Emma: [Hook offers her a flask] Is rum your solution to everything?
Hook: Well, it certainly doesn't hurt.

Emma: That look in his eyes, the despair, I had it. Back when I was in the foster system. Just a lost little girl who didn't matter. Who didn't think she ever would. A little girl who cried herself to sleep every night because she wanted her parents so bad and could never understand... why they gave her up.
Mary Margaret: And then you found us. And it was too late.
Emma: It's just on this island, I--I don't feel like... a hero or a savior. I just feel like what I've always been. An orphan.

David: I had a brother too, you know. A twin. He died before I ever met him.
Hook: There were two of you? I can barely stomach one.
David: Well, you would have liked him. He was a thief and a liar.
Hook: Yeah, you would have liked my brother. He could be a stubborn ass.

Pan: What, you think that kiss actually meant something?
Hook: I do. I think it means she's finally starting to see me for the man I am.
Pan: What? A one-handed pirate with a drinking problem? I'm no grown-up, but I'm pretty sure that's less than appealing.

Neal: So I take it you've a plan, or the whole sacrifice your life thing was just you being dramatic?
David: There is no hope.
Captain Hook: If there's one thing I've gleamed from you hero types it's that there's always hope.
Rumplestiltskin: You're my happy ending. This is. Because it's my redemption. I can be strong son. If you have faith in me.
Belle: You've always felt more comfortable behind a mask.
Rumplestiltskin: You were the only one who could ever see past it. Past the mask of the monster.

The Shadow: Neverland is a place for children to visit in their dreams, not a place for them to live. You were the first to try and stay and in doing so you're breaking the rules.
Henry: I know all magic comes with a price. Saving magic must come with a price too.

Regina: You better come through, Gold, or I'll make whatever Pan has planned for you look like child's play. You understand me?
Mr. Gold: Well, a simple "good luck" would have sufficed.

Regina: Once upon a time there was a queen. And she cast a glorious curse that gave her everything she wanted... or so she thought. She despaired when she learned that revenge was not enough. She was lonely. And so she searched the land for a little boy to be her prince. And then... she found him. And though they lived happily, it was not ever after. There was still an evil out there lurking. The Queen was worried for her prince's safety. While she knew she could vanquish any threat to the boy, she also knew she couldn't raise him without worrying. No. She needed to put her own troubles aside. And put her child first. And so the Queen procured an ancient potion of forgetting. It's all right. If the Queen drinks the potion, she won't forget her child. She'll only forget her worries. Her troubles. Her fears. And with those gone, she - and her prince - can indeed finally live happily ever after.

Captain Hook: I made a decision when it comes to Emma. I'm going to back off.
Neal: Back off?
Captain Hook: For the sake of the boy. Let his parents have a fair shot. Without a devilishly handsome pirate standing in the way.
Neal: You serious?
Captain Hook: Yeah. I *am* dangerously handsome.

Peter Pan: But still,...no magic.
Mr. Gold: Oh, but I don't need it. You see, you may have lost your shadow, but there's one thing you're forgetting.
Peter Pan: And what's that?
Mr. Gold: So have I.

Mother Superior: Good luck, Snow. Have faith.
Snow White: That's easy to say when you have magic wings and a wand.

Regina: Henry, I was wrong, too. It wasn't your fault. It's mine. I cast the curse out of vengeance. And I'm... I'm the villain. You heard Mr. Gold. Villains don't get happy endings.
Henry: You're not a villain. You're my mom.

Regina: I don't run from monsters. They run from me.

Red Riding Hood: Seems like old times doesn't it? Except not running from Regina but with her.
Snow White: She's changed. I have to believe for the better.
Red Riding Hood: I hope it sticks. But regardless, she doesn't look too good. If she hadn't tried to hurt us so many times I might be worried about her.

Rumplestiltskin: You feed the madness and it feeds on you.

Regina: You're just like your mother. Never thinking of consequences.

Hook: It's OK Swan. Not everyone gets the chance to watch their parents fall in love.

Hook: What the hell are you doing? You're depriving me of a dashing rescue.
Emma: Sorry. The only one who saves me is me.

Neal: It's how you know you really got a home. When you leave it there's this feeling you can't shake. You just miss it.

Hook: One of these days I'm going to stop chasing this woman.

Hook: King Midas' daughter? The man who can turn anything into gold. Why would you leave that opportunity?

Emma: Are you sure the first thing he knows is that his parents fell in love during an armed robbery?

Robin: Maybe things work out when they're suppose to. Maybe it's all about timing.

Emma: You're not going to hold him out in front of the clock tower and present him like the Lion King, are you?

Regina: Evil is isn't born, it's made and so is good.

Regina: Heroes don't kill.
Zelena: So now you're a hero?
Regina: Today I am.

Rumplestiltskin: No matter where you go in time, I will find a way to kill you.

Glinda: Only you can shape your destiny but if you believe you're evil then that is what you'll become.

Emma: Next time you try to take my power away why don't you try enchanting the lips of someone I'll actually kiss.

Emma: What is he going to do? I have magic he has one hand.
David: At the very least he can draw fire.
Hook: What, now I'm canon fodder?

David: Zelena backed you into a corner. You did the best you could.
Hook: See, even your father gets it.
Emma: Yeah, because he knows about keeping secrets from loved ones

Zelena: You think I'll fail.

Rumpelstiltskin: I think destiny is destiny.

Regina: For some reason you're so much more likable here in Storybrooke.

Zelena: Pay attention Sis. This is how you take away a happy ending.

Snow: I've loved you since the first moment I saw you.

Charming: And I'll love you until my last.

David: Why do women keep their shoe boxes?

Mary Margaret: Because after true love there is no more powerful magic than footwear. It has to be protected.

Zelena: Why haven't you used those luscious lips and kissed Emma?

Hook: Well, a fellow likes to be courted.

Emma: We were waiting for Hook.

Regina: I don't have time to wait for the handless wonder.

Snow: Regina, if I didn't know any better I'd say you look smitten.

Regina: If I didn't know any better I'd say Haagen Dasz is smitten with your stomach.

Grumpy: The name's Grumpy not Stupid.

Regina: You officially have a less damaging relationship with my mother than I do, and you killed her.

Snow: Apparently the human body has a surprising tolerance for ghost possession.

Emma: I thought our family was the good guys.

Regina: Life is too messy for it to ever be that simple.

Regina: If she wants to kill you she's going to have to go through me.

Zelena: Laws only exist until they're broken by someone superior.

Cora: Someone once told me to act like what you plan to be so I try to act a little better than I am.

Regina: I'm not looking for a heart to heart.

Snow: I'm not sure that's physically possible.

Regina: Right now I need something to defeat the woman who's puppet mastering your boyfriend.

Zelena: Red apples are so sickly sweet don't you think. People tend to like something sharper.

Regina: And green apples are just bitter.

Ariel: Isn't true love more important than a few planks and a sail.

Regina: If he tried to teach you how to swim and you couldn't learn, you drowned.

Regina: He's prone to violence, impulsive and has a hook for a hand. What about him would a 12 year old boy not like?

Hook: I saw the power inside of you. It's about time you embraced it.

Regina: The number of spells involving baby parts would surprise you.

David: I've seen enemy battle plans that were easier to decode than this.

Hook: What did I tell you mates? You don't need a ship to be a pirate.

Regina: You can't steal something that's been given to you.

Emma: I'm not an amateur. I'm the savior.

Zelena: It appears somebody's got an inflated sense of self worth.

Regina: What makes you think you know me so well.

Robin Hood: Well for one thing I'd be charred to a crisp right now if I didn't.

Regina: I think I would remember if my mother told me she had a lovechild with the Scarecrow.

Regina: This isn't the wild west.

Zelena: No dear. It's the wicked west.

Hook: Perhaps I could talk to him.

Emma: About what, leather conditioner and eye liner?

Emma: I almost married a monster from Oz. It's hilarious.

Neal: I almost married a minion of my evil grandfather, Peter Pan so I know what you're saying.

Robin: I thought you were the Wicked Witch.

Regina: And I thought you were a flying monkey.

Belle: I love him. All of him. Even the parts that belong to the darkness.

Regina: She invaded my space. When I return the favor I'm not pulling any punches.

Hook: If it can be broken, that means it still works.

Regina: I think one day you'll have more family than you'll know what to do with.

Zelena: No matter what we did, our outside showed exactly what was rotting on the inside.

Rumplestiltskins: All the voices in my head, will be quiet when I'm dead.

Hook: There's something wicked in your town. What do you say we go find it?

Regina: If you want to waste your time playing Nancy Drew be my guest.

Charming: This is every thing I ever hoped for you.

Emma: Me too. It's a shame I never got it.

Emma: Really, she's real too?

Hook: Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.

Emma: Wouldn't be the first flying monkey I've dated.

Charming: What the hell was that?

Dr.Whale: Don't look at me, I'm a doctor not a vet.

Regina: I may have done bad things in my life but at least I own it.

Regina: Who knew a thief had honor?

Robin Hood: Who knew an evil queen had a soft spot for children?

Emma: That sounds a lot like the monster that attacked me in New York.

Hook: You mean the monster you were going to marry.

Charming: What exactly are we up against besides green skin and a pointy hat.

Regina: I cast curses to hurt other people not myself.

Regina: I think we know exactly who's taking up residence in our castle. The Wicked Witch.

Grumpy: Are we talking east or west?

Snow: You're thinking about Henry aren't you.

Regina: I'm always thinking about Henry.

Zelena: The queen may be evil but I'm wicked and wicked always wins.

Snow: He's kind of cute, huh?

Regina: He smells like forest.

Hook: I've been in my share of brigs but nothing as barbaric as these. They force fed me something called bologna.

Emma: Drink the thing the crazy guy just gave me. No thank you.

Hook: I've tried the hero thing. It didn't take.

Henry: Not every guy's like my dad. Not every guy's going to leave you.

Emma: We've only been together eight months. I've had leftovers in my fridge for longer than that.

Snow: I know you don't like it. You'll learn to.

Emma: Just because you believe something is true does not make it real.

Emma: You're a crazy person or a liar or both.

Hook: I prefer dashing rapscallion. Scoundrel?

Hook: That's quite a vessel you captain there Swan.

Hook: Not a day will go by that I won't go by that I won't think of you.

Rumplestiltskin: I remember you... from the bar. 

Killian Jones: It's always nice to make an impression. 

Killian Jones: You. I remember you. 

Rumplestiltskin: Always nice to make an impression... Where are my manners? We haven't been properly introduced. Rumplestiltskin - or as others know me, the Dark One. 

Rumplestiltskin: [to Jones] We didn't get a chance to finish our duel. Not now. Tomorrow at dawn. I am not a cruel man. Get your affairs in order. Also, you can spend tonight knowing... it'll be your last. 

[giggles] 

Rumplestiltskin: Maybe I *am* cruel. 

Killian Jones: You may be more powerful now, demon, but you're no less a coward! 

Rumplestiltskin: I'll have what I came for now. 

Killian Jones: You'll have to kill me first! 

Rumplestiltskin: Ah-ah! I'm afraid that's not in the cards for you, sonny boy. 

[he cuts off Jones's left hand with his sword] 

Rumplestiltskin: I want you alive, because I want you to suffer, like I did. 

[Jones grabs a metal hook and plunges it into Rumplestiltskin's chest] 

Rumplestiltskin: [giggles] Killing me is gonna take a lot more than that, dearie. 

Killian Jones: Even demons can be killed. I will find a way! 

Rumplestiltskin: Well, good luck living long enough. 

Belle: Be honest with me. Why did you bring magic here? 

Mr. Gold: I've told you. Magic is power. 

Belle: Why do you need it? Tell me. 

[Gold doesn't answer] 

Belle: [sighs] You don't need power, Rumple. You need courage, to let me in. 

Mr. Gold: Look, uh... Can I ask you a question? A-about you and Mary Margaret. H-how... How does that work? 

David Nolan: [stunned] Are you asking dating advice? 

Mr. Gold: Course not, no. 

David Nolan: [sighs] Honesty. That's how we did it. Hard work, and being honest with one another. 

Mr. Gold: Well... I don't lie. 

David Nolan: There is a difference between literal truth and honesty of the heart. Nothing taught me that more than this curse. 

Mr. Gold: It's not lost on me that I'm now here to ask for your help. 

David Nolan: Well, then it shouldn't be lost on you when I say no. 

David Nolan: Do you remember turning a butcher into a pig? 

Mr. Gold: Can't say that I do. Why? 

David Nolan: Well, he does. Apparently it was his father. I'm beginning to understand why nobody wants to help you. 

Mr. Gold: Well, what... H-has he seen Belle? 

David Nolan: Afraid not. 

Mr. Gold: Okay, so, what's next? 

David Nolan: Granny's. We can see who else you terrorized there. 

Mr. Gold: I came because... you're right... about me. I am a coward. I have been my entire life. I tried to make up for it by collecting power; and the power became so important that I couldn't let go. Not even... when that meant losing the most important person in my life. 

Belle: Your son. 

Mr. Gold: Baelfire... is his name. After he left, I dedicated myself to finding him. I went down many, many paths, until I found a curse that could take me to the land where he'd escaped. 

Belle: Here. 

Mr. Gold: And I found myself in this little town, with only one thing left to do: wait for the curse to be broken, so that I could leave, and find him. 

Belle: But instead of looking for him, you... you brought magic. 

Mr. Gold: Because I'm still a coward. Magic has become a crutch, that I can't walk without. And even if I could, I now know I can never leave this place. 

Rumplestiltskin: No, no, the... the law doesn't want you to fight, son, the law wants you to die. That's not battle, that's... that's a sacrifice, son. You look at that red in the sky. That's not the fires of the battlefields. That's the blood of our people, son. It's the blood of children - the blood of children like you. 

Rumplestiltskin: What choice do I have? 

Old Beggar: Everyone has a choice. 

Rumplestiltskin: I'm the town coward. The only choice I have... is which corner to hide in. 

Old Beggar, Mr. Gold: [respectively] I know how to recognize a desperate soul. 

Mr. Gold: That's the thing about children. Before you know it... you lose them. 

Mr. Gold: Regina. Shall I move some things, make a bit of space for your rage? 

Rumplestiltskin: Magic is about emotion. Summon up that moment, that made you so angry, you would've killed if you could. 

Young Cora: You do that? 

Rumplestiltskin: I do. 

Young Cora: What's your moment? 

Rumplestiltskin: Once, a man made me kiss his boots in front of my son. Now, in my mind, I go back, and I rip out his throat, and I crunch his veins with my teeth. And that, dearie, is how magic is made. 

Young Cora: Bloodlust. 

Rumplestiltskin: I like the phrase. 

Young Cora: Royal brides have to be snow white. 

Rumplestiltskin: [giggles] Ah-h, when you see the future, there is irony everywhere. 

Young Cora: You know, I thought I wanted this - white and bright, all the admiration. Then I look at it. Fifth in line to be Queen. That won't happen without an awful lot of bloodshed. And what you give me... 

Rumplestiltskin: I can give you nothing... but darkness and isolation. 

Young Cora: And love? 

Rumplestiltskin: Yeah. And love. 

Young Cora: I want that. 

Rumplestiltskin: You lied to me! Whose heart? 

Young Cora: Mine. I had to! You told me not to let anything stop me until they're on their knees. My heart was stopping me.

Belle: Where... where are you taking me? 

Rumplestiltskin: Let's call it... your room. 

Belle: [My room? 

Rumplestiltskin: Well, it sounds a lot nicer than dungeon. 

Belle: Why do you spin so much? Sorry, it's just... you've spun straw into more gold than you could ever spend. 

Rumplestiltskin: I like to watch the wheel. Helps me forget. 

Belle: Forget what? 

Rumplestiltskin: I guess it worked. 

Mr. Gold: It appears I've been robbed. 

Emma Swan: Funny how that keeps happening to you. 

Mr. Gold: Yeah, well... I'm a difficult man to love. 

Mr. Gold: Love. It's like a delicate flame. And once it's gone... it's gone forever. 

Mr. Gold: Bad things tend to happen to bad people. 

Emma Swan: Is that a threat? 

Mr. Gold: Observation. 

Mr. Gold: Yes, dearie. The one thing no one can escape. Destiny. And I promise, yours is particularly unpleasant. 

Mr. Gold: You must leave, because despite what you hope... I'm still a monster. 

Belle: Don't you see? That's exactly the reason I have to stay. 

Rumplestiltskin: [to Regina] I know everything about you, my dear. I held you in my arms. You were younger, more... portable. There is much history between your family and me... history both in the past and in the future. 

Mr. Gold: It appears when I bought that "Closed" sign, I was just throwing my money away. 

Emma Swan: What's your price? 

Mr. Gold: Forgiveness. 

Emma Swan: How about tolerance? 

Mr. Gold: Well, that's a start. 

Belle: I told you I'd see you again. 

Mr. Gold: That's the last time I don't listen to you. 

Emma Swan: The only person I've ever seen go head to head with Regina and win is you. 

Mr. Gold: That's because I know how to pick my battles.

Sheriff Graham: Sorry, I, I thought you were a wolf. 

Mr. Gold: Did I forget to shave? 

Mr. Gold: You know, to the best of my knowledge, sheriff, there are no wolves in Storybrooke. Not the literal kind, anyway. 

Regina Mills: We have history together. 

Mr. Gold: That would explain the distrustful look on her face. 

Mr. Gold: If you think summoning a giant squid is the answer, I've already tried that. 

Regina Mills: You've had fun, haven't you? I have no intention of ordering calamari. 

Mr. Gold: It's a sad truth that the people closest to us are the ones capable of causing us the most pain. 

Mr. Gold: After everything you've learned about me, after everything I've done... why haven't you given up on me? 

Belle: I learned a long time ago, that when you find something that's worth fighting for... you never give up. 

Mr. Gold: You wish to adopt. 

Regina Mills: Well, don't look so surprised. 

Mr. Gold: Oh, I'm not. I'm sure you'll make a... well, a mother of some sort. 

Mr. Gold: Just remind me never to bet against you in the future, Ms. Swan. 

Emma Swan: Your scroll. I saw it in your cell. You wrote my name again, and again, and again. 

Mr. Gold: Just wanted to make sure it would stick. 

Emma Swan: You created the curse, Gold. You made me the savior. So everything I've ever done... it's exactly what you wanted me to do. 

Mr. Gold: I created the curse, dearie, but I didn't make you. I merely took advantage of what you are - the product of true love. That's why you're powerful. And everything you've done... you've done yourself.

Henry Mills: Why are you so nervous? When I found my mom, I was excited. 

Mr. Gold: Because I have the benefit of a little more... life experience. I know that things don't always happen... the way we want them to. 

Henry Mills: Sure, but... in the book, it says that you could see the future. Why can't you just look and see what's gonna happen? 

Mr. Gold: Well, that ability is... complicated. I didn't always have it. And then, when I did... well... it's maybe not the gift one would expect. Seeing the inevitable... can be a terrible price. 

Henry Mills: But you wouldn't have to worry about stuff. You'd just know. 

Mr. Gold: But that's the great trap. The future... is like a puzzle, with missing pieces - difficult to read, and never, never what you think. 

Henry Mills: You know, I forgave her. Emma. For giving me up. She thought it was the best for me then; that's why she did it. I'm sure your son'll forgive you, too. 

Mr. Gold: Alas, the circumstances surrounding our separation weren't quite so noble. 

Henry Mills: But... you're here now. And you want him back, right? 

Mr. Gold: More than anything. 

Henry Mills: Then that's all that matters. 

Mr. Gold: There's no greater pain than regret. 

Neal Cassady: Try abandonment. 

David Nolan: All right, Gold, you're going out there with my family. Just know if anything happens to 'em... 

Mr. Gold: Then you'll what? Cross the town line? And David Nolan will hunt me down in his animal rescue van? 

David Nolan: I'll be devastated. 

Cora: Hello, Rumple. 

Mr. Gold: Well, I expected this was just a matter of time. Had hoped you were dead, but hey - disappointment's just part of life, I'm sure we can agree on that. 

Cora: Mm, the crocodile snaps at the little bird. And after I brought you a gift. 

Mr. Gold: Yeah, did you bring the antidote, too? 

Rumplestiltskin: [introducing himself] Stiltskin. Rumple Von Stiltskin. 

Victor Frankenstein: A foreigner. 

Rumplestiltskin: What tipped you off? My rosy complexion? 

Victor Frankenstein: Are you a philanthropist? 

Rumplestiltskin: Well, I've been called worse. 

David Nolan: When I awake, I'll be in that fiery room? 

Mr. Gold: Not exactly. That room is where those who've already awoken from the curse return. You, however, are being put under for the first time. 

David Nolan: Then how will I know where to go? How the hell am I supposed to find a room with no door? 

Mr. Gold: And that, dearie, is the conundrum we're all depending on you solving. Now, I say this with the utmost sincerity: good luck. 

Mr. Gold: Cora was dangerous because she didn't have a heart. Regina's even more dangerous because she does. 

Regina Mills: I'm not happy. 

Mr. Gold: I believe Dr. Hopper's office is down the street. 

Mr. Gold: The prophecy. The boy is my undoing. But he's also my grandson. I must save him. I must do this to honor Baelfire. He's gone, and I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. 

Prince Charming: Why do you want us together? What do you get out of it? 

Rumplestiltskin: I'm a fan of true love, dearie. And more importantly... what it creates. 

Prince Charming: What do you know of true love? 

Rumplestiltskin: Well, not so much as you, perhaps, but not so little as you might think. 

Prince Charming: You? You loved someone? 

Rumplestiltskin: It was a brief flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness.

Regina Mills: Finding a way isn't the problem, dear. We both know what is. 

Mr. Gold: Yeah, true love's kiss. 

Regina Mills: And I don't think our new resident feels the same way about you as you do her. 

Mr. Gold: Then I'll make her! 

Regina Mills: Well, there's the charm that should easily woo a lovely young lady. She'll most certainly fall in love with you at first sight. Oh, wait, that didn't happen, did it? 

Mr. Gold: She will, or I promise you, there will be suffering. 

Regina Mills: Finally something we both can agree on.

Lacey: So why didn't you tell me sooner? 

Mr. Gold: Because magic always comes with a price. Tends to drive away the people I care about most. 

Lacey: Well, then, you've been caring about the wrong people. 

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Regina's missing and we think she might be in danger. 

Mr. Gold: Just the way I like her. 

Neal Cassady: You're unreal, you know that? You spend years looking for me. I come in town, you disappear. You haven't even bothered to meet Tamara. 

Mr. Gold: Why should I concern myself with her? 

Neal Cassady: We're getting married! 

Mr. Gold: It's never going to last. Not while you carry a torch for Emma. 

Neal Cassady: You know, you haven't changed one bit. For a second, I thought you might have. I started to think maybe you were worth my time. I guess I was wrong. 

Mr. Gold: And yet, you're still here! 

Neal Cassady: For Henry. Not you. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay the hell away from both of us. 

Mr. Gold: There is one thing. 

Lacey: What is it? 

Mr. Gold: Immortal means to live forever. It doesn't mean one can't be killed. 

Mr. Gold: Never underestimate the power of a guilty conscience. 

Mr. Gold: There are many perks to being the Dark One. 

Regina Mills: You created the curse for me, the curse that brought us here and built all this. 

Mr. Gold: Yes, about time you said thank you. 

Regina Mills: Why did you do it? 

Mr. Gold: Well, you're a smart woman, Your Majesty. Figure it out! 

Mr. Gold: [about his lost son] I think he might still be very angry. 

Archie Hopper: Anger between a parent and a child is the most natural thing in the world. 

Mr. Gold: I think he might be here to try to kill me. 

Archie Hopper: Ah... Right, that's... that's not. 

Mr. Gold: If you know who I am, then you know who I am. 

Mr. Gold: Are you proposing I'm working with Regina, or against her? 

Emma Swan: I don't know, maybe... diagonally. 

Baelfire: She was mute! She couldn't tell anyone. 

Rumplestiltskin: Even mutes can draw a picture. 

Belle: Rumplestiltskin, this thing we have, it's never been easy. I've lost you so many times. I've lost you to darkness, to weakness, and finally, to death. But now I realize, I realize that I have not spent my life losing you. I've spent my life finding you.

Rumple: Belle, when we met, I wasn't just unloved, and unloving, I was an enemy of love. Love had only brought me pain. My walls were up, but you broke them down. You brought me home. You brought light to my life and chased away all the darkness. And I vow to you, I will never forget the distance between what I was and what I am. I owe more to you than I can ever say. How you can see the man behind the monster, I will never know.

Belle: That monster's gone. The man beneath him may be flawed, but we all are. And I love you for it. Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket. And sometimes the best teacup is chipped.

Love So Life

The place I feel happy for a moment, may not become the place I belong.

When I was little I got nervous when people got mad at me. Whenever that happened it reminded me of the memories of the person I missed the most. But no matter how much you want to see them or where you search for the person who said I love you lots or would hug you, no matter what they aren't here anymore.

"If you don't remove your hands I will render you unable to biologically maintain life."
"He is saying I'll kill you in such an articulately round about way!"

Ally McBeal

Richard: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That's a Fishism.

Ally: Why does everybody have to move on so damn fast.  What is wrong with just staying still and crying? I mean, who made up that stupid rule anyway that life just goes on?

Richard: You're not the only one who needs to survive.

Ally: I've been so wanting to meet a guy where everything's not about money... and who's got plenty of it.

Elaine: (to Ally) There's probably three decent guys in this stupid town, and you've got two of them and Mark's got the other.
Mark: That's real funny, Elaine.

Larry: I want you to ditch the father son act, I'll declare Nelle void, we can have dinner tonight.
Ally: Done.

Ally: Well, um, I have a really big day tomorrow. We're gonna depose Kimmy and then I might get deposed so I should probably go kill myself

Larry: I have a slight problem with your lament on prioritising sex as you come in here wafting of vanilla wearing a $2000 outfit designed to punctuate every contour of your body looking very much like the women in the magazines except I don't have the luxury of turning the page. As for locating self-worth in physical appearance, I'm sure there's a mirror somewhere in your little Prada purse, and as much as you might hate the idea of being the object of a man's desires, what you truly loathe is the idea that one day you might not be. And the questions burning deep deep DEEP down to the lip gloss is... Has that day already arrived?

Ally (to Larry): I am sorry that I called you the biggest ass I've ever met. I'm sure that there is at least one bigger, I just can't remember.

Elaine: There's very very few decent guys out there, and in this day of sexually transmitted diseases, the odds of landing one become even tougher.
Ally: I don't follow.
Elaine: They're all wearing condoms. It's harder to trap them by getting pregnant.

Billy: You hate God, you hate him. Anybody else?
Ally: Yes, you. For dying.

Mark: Your last memory of him shouldn't be where he left off. Remember him the way you want to. You survive that way, and so does he.

Ally: And may be that's why I feel so alone. You kow, nobody really understands how much I and what I..
Billy: I know.
Ally: Everybody says life has to go on, and it feels like such a big insult to you if life just goes on.

Billy voiceover: ...like she's not even entitled to cling to it after he's gone. And she sits there. Empty.
Mark: ...A love that she cherished more than life itself was taken from her. Suddenly gone. And in part...
Billy voiceover:...she felt gone.
Mark: ...And she snapped.

Ally: There's a dead guy there?
Billy: Yes, Ally, it's a homicide.
Ally: Uh-uh, I'm not going any place where there's somebody dead. You-- you know I have a thing about that.
Billy: Ally!
Ally: (turns to Georgia) You go with him. He's your husband.
Georgia: Oh, now he's my husband.

Richard: Women, the period once a month, thats good for 3 days sub-performance. PMS, tack on another day. Add the 3.2 more hrs per month women spend in the bathroom doing either makeup, hair, who knows. And the single ones, forget it! All they want is to meet a man. Actually, Ally, maybe we should introduce you as an exhibit.

Tracy: Can I be blunt?
Ally: No. Just continue to kid glove me

Margaret: I don't condemn you for wanting somebody to love. I guess I just reject the notion that your life is empty without a man.

Ally: Couple-hood is good, Renée. And maybe we should stop waiting for the right guy and go out with the wrong ones. I mean, it probably beats loneliness.
Renée: There's nothing lonelier than being with the wrong guy.

Richard: If we win we are heros, we pulled off a miracle. If we lose the wacko goes to jail, justice is served. It is a win/win!

Richard: Only think about this: you were going to take wedding vows with this man. 'Death do us part.' You parted, now what is holding up the death?

Bobby Donnell: Why don't you want to do it yourselves?
Richard: We would. We're just concerned for our image. You know what the world thinks of criminal attorneys -- bottom-feeding scum suckers. Can't have that image running in our firm. But on you, it looks good.

Billy: We'll what?
Ally: Mutate. We'll become the kind of lawyers who can look at a dead body and instead of saying 'why', we'll say 'reasonable doubt.' You-- you can't be a good criminal lawyer if-- if murder horrifies you. And if it doesn't horrify you, then what are you then?

Ally: Do you ever, uhm, want kids? Well, it's just a question. Uh-- I'm not volunteering to carry them to term. Do you?
Bobby Donnell: Someday.
Ally: Well, for the sake of their innocence, you might want to cling to your own.

Richard: Tell me women don't become interested in men because of the size of their wallets. We see beautiful young girls walking around with 80-year-old men on welfare all the time, don't we? People in this country are seduced by success! Fancy car, big house, beautiful woman. It's the American Way.

Judge Walsh: I think the idea of high school boys renting dates is disgusting. Mr. Cage, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume when you first heard of this, you took a moment.

Richard: You could have at least tried to be sympathetic!
Ling: I was under oath!!

John: Are we?
Richard: Are we what?
John: A joke to the outside world?
Richard: The outside world just doesn't get the joke.

Ally: You think we're all from Mars here don't you?
Bobby Donnell: I never said which planet.

Ally: Richard, do you know anyone happier than me?
Richard: Well, I used to but he jumped off a bridge.

Billy: This is what I get for talking to you!
Georgia: No, this is what you get for marrying someone who'd talk back!

Ally: I think I need to believe that it works
Billy: What works?
Ally: Love. Couple hood. Partnerships. The idea that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism.

Ally: Ally McBeal, Homewrecker. Here's my card.
Georgia: Oh, I have it. Thank you.

Richard: Everybody's alone, Ally. It's just easier to take in a relationship.

John: [about Santa Claus] A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and a glass of whole milk.

Ally: With John, it's not about winning the moment. It's about winning the day.

Richard: Having a child -- it's a selfish thing. Couples don't walk around wanting to give life. They say, 'we want a child.' We want, we want. It's a selfish thing. Not that it's not a good selfish, but it's selfish. Don't punish yourselves for not wanting to celebrate your greed here.

Georgia: It's one thing to bring a child into the world, but... our world?

Ally McBeal: I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.

Ally: Being a woman, I know how women react to things even when they don't mean a thing.

Richard: The reason John and I started this firm was because we wanted to go to work everyday where it was fun: make money, throw office parties, a fun place to work. I realize employees will always gripe. Part of an employee is to not like people staring at pretty girls, and not to like tactics used to win cases. It is the nature of the employee to complain. There is always some place better. This lawsuit carries the gripe too far. It saps the fun out of it for me. And since fun was the point, anybody who isn't happy, leave. And if you all go, we will just have to start another firm. There is always another one

Ally: Maybe it's because they say love is about making compromises and that's why they all get themselves into compromising positions... they can call it research. Whatever it is, I don't think I'm going on it.

Ling: I have never considered that. But let me. No.

Ally: There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever."

Ally: The truth for me [is that] our friendship is the greatest thing I got going. I cherish it. And to put an honesty boundary on it... I don’t want to. So free fall with the truth and hope we both survive.

Ally: The wrong ones can’t hurt you. It’s the right ones.

Ally: I don't want what I want, and I want what I don't want, and to complicate it even more, I don't even know what I want or don't want!

Ally: The truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content, 'cause then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.

Ally: Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.

Renee: Snow White. Cinderella. All about gettin' a guy. Being saved by the guy. Today it's the Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Pocahontas. All about gettin' a guy.
Ally: So basically we're screwed up because of...
Renee: Disney.

Ally: Whoever said that plenty of fish in the sea thing was lying. Sometimes there's only one fish. Trust me.

Richard: I can't do anything about it, but I'd be happy to sympathize.

Richard: I'm nothing if not redundant. I also repeat myself.

Renee: This is the problem with playing games -- somebody has to lose.

Ally: So here I am, the victim of my own choices. And I'm just starting.

Elaine: He took the stairs, he's gone.
Ally: You could catch him if you took the window.

Richard: It's just that I have concerns about the match here. I realize you share similar DNA, but it's Billy's.

Ally: You're saying I'm the kind of person that can never be happy?
Ronald: I think you'll know more happiness than most. You just won't be content.

Richard: Reunions are meant to allow the more successful graduates... to inform the less successful that that's what they are -- less than.

Richard: One of the keys to life... the fast-forward. Every movie has its lousy parts. The trick is to fast-forward through them. As time passes, you'll look back and say, 'Oh, that little adultery thing.' You fast-forward to then right now. And you're over it.
Ally: Fast-forward?
Richard: It's the Fish way.
Ally: That's your best one yet, Richard.

Richard: Ally, you can't just attack somebody over a snack treat. That's not a Fishism. That's just a rule of common sense.

Ally: Do you think I'm nuts?
Whipper: No. But I'm not sure you have two feet on the ground either.
Ally: Do you mean some people do?

Ally: How did I get to be such a mess so soon in my life?
Billy: You've always been ahead of your time.

Ally: It's as if he was talking about me.
Tracy: Ally, with you everything is about you, but that's OK, narcissism is a wonderful thing.
Ally: It is ?
Tracy: Yeah, for me. Nuts like you heat my pool.

Jason Tresham: Lonely people... they always have a look, a look that it could change any second, maybe with the next person that enters the room. Lonely people have hope, she didn't seem to. She was just sad, like she knew too much. Some people find love, permanent; some are just meant to be alone. She knew what she was.

Richard: She'll be here. Tell me, Ling, when you resort to these sexual harassment lawsuits, do you worry about coming on, say... weak, vindictive, powerless, little ant who needs the special help? It runs so contrary to your personality which seems... vicious. (Ling just looks at him) I'm just making conversation until... Nelle gets here.
Ling: If you only knew the things that are said about me.
Richard: I bet I could guess.

John: Did you tell Nelle Porter I was drawn to her?
Richard: Yes. Sorry. Bygones.
John: Unacceptable! What I tell you I have an expectation of privacy!
Richard: John, which is why I'm apologizing. Bygones squared.

John: I'm afraid if I tell you, I would win back the reputation as strangest one in the room.

Ling: Don't Ling me, I'm tired of being Linged around here!
Nelle: Ling, I admire the way you don't let yourself be pushed around, I really do. Too many people, when they think they're being wronged just walk away, I salute that you don't. But... something's going on lately, you think the whole world's against you, you...
Richard: It's only just the people who've met you. Kidding.

Georgia: You had your legs up!
Ally: No I didn't.
Georgia: Yes you did! I checked, you had 'em up!
Ally: Well, maybe they just flew up! Your Mirror Mirror dropped me from second to third and my legs reacted.

Ling: This woman drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.

Ally: Getting dumped isn't exactly a show of penance. If it were I'd be Mother Superior.

Tracy: It can't last forever, of course not. But who made up the rule that the best loves do?

Billy: Some would see the law in black and white. They'd do fine. Some can't tell the black from white. They'd flunk. Then some could tell the black from the white and see all the grays. And they'd be doomed forever. Ally's faced with some of that doom. She sees grays. She tries to make sense of an arena that's messy.

Ally: That's the thing about me. I make all my clients forget about all their troubles by giving them bigger ones.

Ally: I have a habit of saying the wrong thing when I'm upset. I mean, if you could fill this room with everybody I've offended, people would probably think you're a much better rabbi than you are.

Ally: I am so indifferent to every man I meet these days. It's rare that one comes along who I could so immediately dislike, so I figure there must be something behind that.
Rabbi Stern: This is how you ask me out?

Ally: You are a lawyer.
Ling: But I don't practice. Practice causes wrinkles, look at you.

Richard: Nelle, remember how you hate people talking about you behind your back?
Nelle: Yes.
Richard: I can't do that when you are in the room

Richard: Helping people is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self-interest.

Angela: Sometimes, when you hold out for everything... you walk away with nothing.

Richard: New firm policy. Listen up. Anybody who sues this firm or me personally, we all drop whatever cases we're working on, and we devote all our intellectual and creative efforts to ruining that person's life. Are we clear? I do not want to stop short with just getting even. Retribution? Not strong enough. Ruin! That's the goal. Irreversible, irreparable, irrational ruin! New firm policy.

Richard: Women as a rule hate other pretty women. Women as a rule also sympathize with other women victims because they are women. Women want other women to be destroyed, but as women, they don't want to be the actual destroyers themselves.
Billy: If you find a way to word that cleverly, it could be a Fishism.

Richard: Everything is about presentation, same for restaurants as for shoes. What's inside doesn't count, its how they look. Fishism.

Ally: What's so important about this case?
Richard: First off, money. Secondly, money.

Richard: Georgia, give me your shoe. Why would a grown person wear these? They are hugely uncomfortable, make it easier to fall, cause back problems, but, hey -- call it fashion. What kind of person would spend an equivalent of two years painting her face and plucking out her eyebrows, and putting silicone or saline in her chest? There is a name for this kind of person, 'woman'. Why? Because, we 'men' like it. Don't talk to me about equality. Don't tell me you aren't disabled.

Ally: I love it here. It doesn't mean I have to like what I do all the time.
Richard: Wha-- what we do -- that's slightly connected to what the place is, Ally. It's a little inconsistent to like it here and not like what you do here.
Ally: What this place is, is evolving. I mean, we-- we are a bunch of young lawyers. I mean, we're kids. You work on me, I'll be working on you. And-- and I look forward to one day... when I wake up and I come here and I find you with character. Now, that is the whole challenge of it. And that... is fun.

Ally: Don't say you're sorry when you're not sorry! You didn't even look up to see who you bumped into! What if I was an old lady? I could have fallen down and broken a hip! I could be lying on my back in some HMO, my lungs filling up with phlegm till I'm on life support, draining my family of every last cent of their inheritance while I asphyxiate on my own dried half-hacked mucus! No, don't say you're sorry when you're not sorry.

Richard: I plan to have character one day, great character, but if you want to be rich you better get the money before the scruples set in.

Billy: It's not a good feeling to be married to a person who I am in love with and still not be over another.

Billy: Do you ever wonder whether you're really good in bed or not?
Richard: No - I know I'm good.
Billy: How?
Richard: Because I'm always satisfied - good for me!

Ally: I mean, 'cause slow dancing isn't really like dancing at all. It's just two people kind of leaning on each other, almost as if they'd fall down without the other one to hang onto. It's very Christmas.
John: Do you know that you're odd?
Ally: I do.

Richard: Did you ask her yet?
John: I'm still steeling myself.
Richard: Strong, assured, fresh, bold.
John: You just described a breath mint.

Georgia: I don't think you're being unfaithful, but I think there's little pockets of intimacy that you can't get to with me that you do get to with Ally.

Ally: Me and John Cage?
Renée: Mm-hmm. When you think about it, Ally, you both kind of circle the Earth in similar orbits.

Billy: Richard - I'm having a philosophical problem with the way we do our business!
Richard: I'm glad you told me, I appreciate your honesty (walks away).

Ally: I just can't believe a doctor would perform an unnecessary operation just to advance his career!
Tracey: (begins laughing, then turns on a laugh track with her stereo remote) Sometimes when a patient says something so naive I find my own laughter just isn't enough.

Judge Steele: Mr. Fish, the Supreme Court has recently ruled that the President of the United States may be sued while serving his term, so why should we excuse a senator?
Richard: I'm glad you asked me that, Your Honor, because it will allow me to comment on a very small detail so far ignored with respect to the Clinton-Jones ruling.
Judge Steele: And what's that?
Richard: Uh, they screwed up.
Judge Steele: Who?
Richard: The Supreme Court. Bad ruling.
Judge Steele: The Supreme Court screwed up?
Richard: Yes.
Judge Steele: And you would like me to substitute your judgment for theirs?
Richard: Yes. (Pauses.) Do I win?
Judge Steele: No, Mr. Fish. You do not.

John: Ally, should the Oogga Chakka infant dash into the room, please ignore him.

Ally: We have a real shot on the merits here-
Billy: If we go in arguing a point of law-
Ally: That the supreme court has just ruled on-
Billy: We'll lose-
Ally: And we'll make ourselves look more desperate-
Billy: Which will hurt our credibility-
Ally: At trial.
Richard: Have you guys been passing notes in class?

Ally: I like being a mess - it's who I am.

Richard: He wants to get married. His son won't let him. He's retained us.
Ally: What do you mean his son won't let him?
Richard: He was deemed mentally incompetent two years ago. Evidently, he's a bit of a cracker, but of course, since we represent the cracker, we won't be taking that position

Sam: There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try.

Ally: Everything is neutral in Switzerland. People are even emotionally neutral in Switzerland. All they do is drink hot chocolate, work in banks - nobody gets hurt - and they get to lead nice lives right up until the point where they shoot themselves.

Richard: The main reason women seek to marry is to basically make it much harder for the man to get away. You latch on to him with legal strings. Ball and chain, he's caught. You already have that. [Michael]'s in prison. He's not going anywhere. He almost literally wears the ball and chain. And not only will he not be having sex with other women, he won't be having it with you. In a sense, you really are married.

Billy: This is insane!
Ally: We're lawyers, Billy. That's our job -- distort the law beyond common sense.

Richard: We're gonna win...and get even more than that offer.
Georgia: What if we lose?
Richard: I vomit, then dive into it. I brought my snorkel.

Ballard: If you get hurt- there's gotta be a bad guy. Pain doesn't just happen. There's gotta be somebody to blame.

Renée: You don't like that truth. Here's another one. The biggest one.
Ally: Let me have it.
Renée: So long as he is cute, smart, sexy, and decent, who cares what else he is? Because after you marry him, you're gonna spend the rest of your days trying to change him.

Billy: I'm sorry. I had no right to be so...
Ally: Holy?
Billy: Holy? I was about to say I was an ass.
Ally: Yeah. Ass-holy.

Richard: Everything happens for a reason, Georgia, even lunacy.

Billy: Will you ever forgive my letting go?
Ally: I forgive it. But I'm still not sure I'll ever understand it.

Ally: Today's gonna be a, a less bad day, I can feel it. Sometimes I wake up and I just know everything's gonna be... less bad.

Ally: Love and law are the same, romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.

Ally: We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.

Ally: Time wounds all heals.

Billy: I did love you. Problem was you couldn't recognize it. Love is wasted on you because you'll always be unhappy, that's why I left. You may go through your good times, but we both know the place you'll always go back to. I couldn't have pulled you out of your world, you would have pulled me into yours.

Ally McBeal: Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested. Do you ever wish you could erase a whole day from your life, a year even?
John: If you think back, and replay your year - if it doesn't bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted.

Richard: You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism.

Ally: I have a friend who refuses to get a pet because he says in the end they die and it's just too hard... maybe it's the same with relationship.

Richard Fish: It's not easy finding a person to love in this world. Whoever you end up with, she won't be perfect.

Ally: There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

Ally: You only die once!

Ally: When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.

Ally: Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.

Richard: How impressed do you think this big client was to see you repeatedly reaching for your left nostril during your impromptu excavation project?

Ally: Sometimes I'm more persuasive when I lack conviction.

Ally: Isn't it rude to talk about somebody while they're in the same room?
Richard: Same room, different planet. Kidding! Bygones.

Ally: I didn't think a therapist was supposed to call her patients nuts!
Tracy: Ally, you've got a see-through baby in a diaper uga-chucking spears at you. You're doing this Lloyd Bridges thing through your office. You're a cracker. But that's why you're here.

Elaine: She's always a little tickled by drama, in time she'll look back at this day and want to relive it.

Ally: I cannot believe the things that I am hearing come out of your mouth. But then again considering the places it's been I guess I shouldn't be so shocked!

Billy: You know Ally, she can't even sit on a toilet with out drumming up a little drama.

Ally: Renee, you come up with sarcasm at the most inappropriate times!

Ally: Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.

Ally: Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones.

Richard: It's not my style to care about others, but what's going on?

Richard: Richard: You've got to remember John. You're not who you are, you're only what other people think of you. Fishism.

Ally: Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.

Ally: We're women. We have a double standard to live up to.

Ally: However much I know otherwise part of me has always felt that life has no real meaning until you get to share it with somebody. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of: my life finally taking meaning or suddenly becoming void of it.

John: That's the trouble I suppose in coming at people with honesty, some times they counter with it.

John: I'm not going through an odd phase, I really am odd.

Richard: Is that the two cents? I'd be looking for change.

Richard: Objection! Your Honor, this is boring!

Richard: Let me tell you something. I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law; the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry? Yeah, we can do that.

Richard: "Problem" is just a bleak word for challenge.

Richard: She told her that you told her about what she told you. I'm in the middle and clueless. I feel like Elaine.

Richard: You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right.

Richard: Er... love without sex is er... meaningless... Senior Fishism!

Richard: The key to successful parenting is knowing when not to.

Richard: Parenting is nothing if not selfless.

Elaine: That was with all due respect?

Elaine: A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.

Elaine: Sometimes she just looks snappish.

Elaine: That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.

Elaine: I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.

Elaine: She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.

Elaine: Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.

Ling: It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.

Ling: Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!

Ling: I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!

Ling: I am really a very funny person.

Ling: He's about to take a very long moment

Ling: Watch where you are going! It's bad enough that you people get all the parking spots!

Ling: I Object! I'm bored! As an officer of the court, I have a duty to be open and forthright. I think the witness is tedious and I'm concerned for the jury's attention span.

Ling: A woman hasn't got true control of a man until her hand is on the dumb stick.

Ling: There's nothing I enjoy more then seeing a happy couple and coming between them

Nelle Porter: Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!

Georgia: At the end of the day, life is just this big wall of reality that we all crash into.

Dr. Tracy Clark: You kissed him? You're a slut!
Ally: I... I am not! I am not a slut!
Dr. Tracy Clark: Oh, come on! Don't fool yourself!

Ally: Where does she come up with these things?
Nelle:  Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
Ally: Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?

Ally McBeal: Love isn't always enough.
Larry: Yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it's everything.

Nelle: You having fun with this case?
Ling Woo: It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.

Ling Woo: So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Jackson Duper: Hey, for all I knew...
Ling Woo: You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: Why the alias? You wanted?
Jackson Duper: No.
Ling Woo: Certainly not by me.
Jackson Duper: Excellent. Do I get to talk
Ling Woo: Fine. Quick, think up something.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: We're back to look.
Jackson Duper: Hey...
Ling Woo: We're back to hey.
Jackson Duper: Ling...
Ling Woo: How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I gave it to you. What an odd thing to do.

Ling: Do you know how his father died?
Ally: No. Do you?
Ling: Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee.

Georgia: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally: They're mine.

Rabbi Stern: Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Ally McBeal: Bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!
Ally McBeal: What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ally McBeal: 'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Get out.

Ally McBeal: So how has it come to this? We're smart women, we're fairly attractive...
Renée Radick: I'm even hot

Greg: You kicked him?
Ally McBeal: I didn't know he was real; I thought he was pretend.
Greg: You only kick pretend people?
Ally McBeal: [pause] Yes.

Renée Radick: Well, don't get me wrong, Ally...
Ally McBeal: Why does everyone say that to me? Do I get everything wrong?
Renée Radick: No, it's just that what I am about to say may sound like an insult, so I want to buffer it.
Ally McBeal: Oh, okay.
Renée Radick: Emotionally, you're an idiot.

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism.

Billy: Why do therapists always have to talk about sex?
Dr. Hooper: What can I say, Freud was a perv.

Ally McBeal: I'm trying to desensitize myself to murder so I can be a better lawyer.
Billy: Why don't you just watch the news?

Richard: Unisex studies show it helps men and women employees breed familiarity, so long as they don't come in to just breed.

Richard: Is that where you make all your big decisions in life? The bathroom?

Ally: I am human, I am tempermental, I am guilty!

Richard: Having a child is a selfish thing. Couples don't walk around wanting to give life. They say, we want a child. We want, we want. It is a selfish thing, a good selfish. Selfish.

Richard: Personally, I hate sexual harassment laws. The original force behind them were disgruntled lesbians who felt they were not given the same opportunities. Along with ugly women, who are jealous of pretty women who got all the breaks in the work force. My cause to action is simple, women are victims. They need special help. Look, at the evolution of these sexual harassment laws. What we are really saying is women really should qualify under the Federal Disablity Act. They are less able. They cannot cope with romance in the office. They cannot contend with having to do a job and have a man smile at them. It is too much. Look where we use to be, first quid pro quo, then hostile environment, and now Sienfeld episodes. Women can't take it they bruise too easily. The laws are here to protect the weak and most vulernable in society. She is woman, protect her!"

Richard: We just love to live in a politically correct world, that is so involved. Where did we pass a law against common sense? This is a french bistro. When people go there, they go not just to eat but to dine. The ambiance of culture they want to feel elite and sophiscated. A good gay waiter can do that. They have that snobbish little entitlement thing going. People like that."
"Gays are elitist snobs?"
"The waiter kind are. First they are smarter. They grow up reading more books, probably trying to figure out the answer as to why they are homosexual. Plus, they are terrible at sports which gives them more time to study. They are smart, they want to work in the arts. They end up as waiters, way over qualified, bitter, snobby. People have com e to expect this when ordering a fruity wine.

Richard: Love is an equation, a me and a you derives a we.

Richard: Never trust a second thought. Where there is two there is three. You will end up thinking forever.

Richard: Personal questions don't bother me. I just lie.

Richard: That remark would hurt if I had feelings.

Richard: I appologize for Mr. Thomas's hostility. In as much as I constantly stress the need for civility, he continues to have these reactions to witch hunts, particularly when they are so blatant.

Richard: I hate to pull ranks, but this is the kind of case where having female litigants is a plus, we owe it to Ling to extend our best efforts, not to mention this is a client with whom I'm still trying to reach sexual fruition, for once I'll ask you to think about someone other than yourselves, can you do that?

Bernie: Imagine thinking when you go, it will have mattered that you lived. And then consider the alternative.

Ally: I have a great imaginary world, but sometimes I just need things to happen.

Ally: She's my hero! She's vicious, I disagree with almost everything she says, she treats me like dirt and somehow she's my hero.

Richard: John, If we want to connect with her on a cracker level, you get the assignment. But for common sense, I'm the one who should go. I'd send Billy but he might kiss her.
Billy: Hey.
Richard: Bygones.